Half Light (or Authenticity Trashed)

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin...

Once upon a time, in a land far far away (metaphysically speaking), an argument was raging between Dawn and Dusk. Authenticity lay at the heart of the debate - 'who was the real urbanz?'. Sorry no, that's silly - each was claiming the right of being the truest, most authentic Half Light.

Dawn argued that she was the most authentic Half Light, as she appeared at the beginning of everything; time, day, civilisation, life. Cocks crowed at her. She broke over valleys in poems, Venus flew at her, reflections watched at her gates, she was the friend of the muses, visionaries saw her before the rest of the world.

"Meh", replied Dusk, in an aggravatingly nonchalant manner. "I am the beginning of the night, the closing of the day, the end of life". He argued that he was experienced by more sentient beings on this earth than Dawn, as only ravers, insomniacs, and pretentious poets were actually awake at Dawn.

"Mmm", mused Dawn, "Wiki has me down as having three more technical definitions though. I am also civil, nautical, and astronomical".

Dusk snorted with derision. "Oh God, she's fucking Legion now". He rolled his eyes. "You do know, don't you, that whenever we are mentioned in the same sentence, I am always brought up first? Dusk to dawn - you don't even warrant a capital letter half the time. Dusk til dawn - google it".

Dawn stretched, yawned, turned to look at Dusk with eyes brimming with triumph. "Do you know how many goddesses of me exist in mythology? No? Neither do I - there's that many. I exist in both Eastern and Western culture as the banisher of evil spirits, zombies, ghosts, vampires, trolls, fairies and demons. Google that, you oaf".

Dusk was tempted to ask to see her crack at that point, but relinquished a cheap jibe in favour of an etymological willy wave. "I have been around since 1615, lexically speaking".

"If you're going to argue, make sure you have all the facts, eh?", Dawn chuckled. "Lexically speaking, I have been in existence since 1499". She breathed on her fingernails, then polished them on the sleeve of her chunky knit cardie.

There was a loud cough behind them.

"Ahem!"

They jumped, whirled about, and saw Twilight stood there, hands on hips, frowning.

"Oh hai Twilight, we can haz authenticity?", they snivelled.

"No you bloody well can't, you pair of fakers", grumped Twilight, and started counting off points on hir fingers.

"One - Dusk only gets his meaning from the absence of light, and Dawn from the rising of the light. So although this makes both of you in essence a half light, half of anything is inauthentic.

Two - Dawn exists once a day, in the morning. Dusk exists once a day, in the evening. Twilight exists at both times, at the beginning and the end, the start and the finish. I am your junction, I am whole, I hold both of you together - I have to exist, in order that you both exist. And yet my very name means Half Light.

Three - Lexically speaking, I beat you both by a good century.

Four - you both exist according to the demands of society, rather than the needs of your inner being. If you're going to argue about authenticity, read some fucking Kierkegaard at the very least.

Five - this is a completely pointless argument. We are all of us made up of light. We are invisible. We merely illuminate. We are a tool of nature, of man, of god".

And with that, Twilight imploded into an existentialist void - blown apart by hir own rationale.

I'd like to tell you that they all lived happily ever after, but that would be completely inauthentic.


written by baumfree